A Sickening Truth
by leshamarieinuyasha
Summary: Edward had come to a mortifying realization. He just couldn’t let life take it’s natural course…not without Alphonse. RXR


So last night my parents and I went out, and they decided to let me go browse the bookstore and music store. Low and behold hiding in an anime section I've never seen before was _Fullmetal Alchemist The Movie: Conqueror Of Shamballa_. I bought it as soon as soon as I felt it in my hands. Talk about impulsive, right? Anyways it was that movie and going to bed at 5:30am that inspired this drabble. Thank you Funimation and lack of sleep.

Disclaimer: I do not own Fullmetal Alchemist

**Warning**: Yeah, Elricest is implied. So sue me

Alphonse: age 17

Edward: age 18

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A Sickening Truth 

"_Al…Alphonse! Damn it…I won't let you take him. I won't let you take him from me…give him back! He's all I have left…take my arms, my other leg, take my heart if that's what it costs! It doesn't matter…he's my little brother…GIVE HIM BACK TO ME! HE'S MY LITTLE BROTHER HE'S ALL I HAVE LEFT!"_

It's all I can do to stop myself from screaming. Bolting up right, my hands covering my mouth holding back the terrifying shrieks that wish to be set free, I open my eyes to the surroundings. Same old rickety bed, same old squeaky floor boards, and the same old faded out wallpaper. Feeling a stream of sweat trickle down my forehead,_ I _reach up and wipe it away. This isn't the first time I have been subjected to such hellish nightmares. This dreams has been reoccurring for years…ever since Alphonse and I committed the ultimate taboo…human transmutation. All we had wanted to do was bring our mother back…just to see her smiling face one more time. She was so young when she left us in this cruel and cold hearted world…my brother and I just couldn't take it. Living in a world without that one person who makes everything worth it is just like jumping into a bed of needles. You'd rather bleed to death than face the fact that their shinning features will never again brighten up a room.

Looking around I see Alphonse; back facing me and front facing the wall, my younger brother's breathing seems very distant. Getting up and onto my feet, I tread lightly to his side. Kneeling down next to the lengthy mattress, I gently place my chin on his shoulder. His warm body making contact with my cold and clammy skin sends shivers down my spine. It's been two years since Alphonse had regained his body…yet moments like these still get to me every time. Seeing him trapped in that armor for six years…unable to eat, dream, or even shed tears was complete torture. I had placed him in that iron prison because I couldn't face the thought of being alone. I didn't dare to try and live in a world that would make me stand on my own two feet.

Stirring faintly under the light pressure of my jaw, I watch silently as Alphonse opens his eyes. Deep dark golden-brown eyes meeting my gaze I smile softly down at my little brother. Letting out a tiny squeak of what sounds to be yawn, Alphonse pushes over and pats the empty space beside his form. Crawling into bed with him, my arms rythematiclly falling around his waist, I pull his body tight against my chest inhaling the sweet scent of his dark blonde locks. Sighing softly, I can feel Alphonse rubbing lightly up and down the length of my forearm. The tears biting now at my eyes, I manage to choke out what's been running through my mind.

"Alphonse…can I ask you something?" I question tightening my grip around his waist.

"Brother, is everything alright?" Alphonse inquires his hand freezing against the cool flesh of my human arm.

"I've been thinking about things lately…and I can't help but wonder…do you hate me?" I choke out feeling traitor tears burning my orbs.

"Hate you? How could I possibly hate you, Ed?" Alphonse replies turning around in my arms so that we are now facing each other.

"I was the one who put you in that suit of armor, Alphonse." I cry experiencing the sensation of hot moisture cascading down my skin. "I trapped you in there for my own selfish purpose. Because I couldn't stand on my own two feet and I need you to be the crutch."

"Edward…look at me." Al whispers taking my face into his hands. "I could never hate you. If anything I love you all the more for sticking me inside that tin can some years ago."

"How can you say that?" I sob as more tears cloud my vision. "You could have been at peace had I not sealed you into the armor."

"Brother, I wanted to be with you." Alphonse murmurs wiping away my tears with his fingertips.

"You did?" I sniffle clutching onto his hands that are tenderly cupping my cheeks.

"I still do." Alphonse replies pressing his lips to mine. "I want to be with you forever…"

I am unsure about if whether or not I should be joyous, or completely mortified. The fact that my brother has completely forgiven me for all the wrong I've caused seems utterly and entirely surreal. And the sickening truth about all of this is that I would do it again. I've come to the shocking and potentially fatal fact that I cannot let life take its natural course. If anything were to happen to my little brother, I know that in an instant I'd be standing in front of the gate; offering up whatever I have left to bring him back from death's grip yet a third time. Yes, the idea scares the living shit out of me, but it's all true. I can't go on living without him…or rather I just won't.

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Oh man well that was fun to write. And just incase you are wondering where the boys are living, they are in Munich. I hope that you enjoyed the drabble and that you'll leave me a nice little review. Thanks a ton!


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